Tuesday, June 26, 2012

Toddle Along Tuesday - Letter to Self

Happy Toddle Along Tuesday!  This week's topic is A Letter to My Old Self.


I wonder what other mamas are writing.  Letters to their youthful selves?  Pleading with themselves to love their bodies, ignore their catty high school "friends," enjoy their wedding a little more, or live it up a bit more before starting a family?  I'd love to say any of those would make it into my letter.  But they wouldn't.

Dear Self,

I hear you just had a baby.  I don't need to tell you how great he is - you already know.  I don't need to tell you to treasure every moment - you know that too.  You know how important it is to make sure he feels loved.  You have this whole situation under control, and don't let anyone tell you different.

Here's what you don't know...

You are about to be faced with some decisions.  They will scare you, confuse you, and horrify you - often all three at once.  You will agree to have your child put on drug after drug, searching for the one that helps.  You will hand him over to strangers in scrubs and trust that they know what they're doing.  You will feed him.  You will stop feeding him.  You will agree to surgeries and procedures that you'll have to google just to understand the very basics.  You'll see Emergency Rooms, Hospital Rooms, Counseling Rooms, Specialists' Offices, and more waiting rooms than you can imagine - often through tear-filled eyes.  You will laugh and cry and scream and beg and plead for anyone - anyone - to help you.  You will lose friends, and gain friends.  You will gain jobs, and lose jobs.  You will learn so much, and you will feel so naive.

I have the benefit of having done all of these things.  You'll do them soon.  My only words of wisdom for you?  You will make it through this.  HE will make it through this.  Don't hesitate.  Don't stop.  You're doing the right thing. 

Love, Me

PS - Want to know how I'm so sure?  This face wouldn't lie...